Saturday, July 21, 2007

Imagination - Time for Yourself

Right now I imagine a quite common night and morning after.
It’s no action-movie, just something that will come true someday:

One night when I don’t have sleep once again, I sit in my room - wow, actually the whole colorful house is mine! There’s actually no music playing, but in my imagination I can hear someone belting out tunes.

I’ve been up, been up... just no sleep and its ok for me! I don’t have to go to work the next day, so it’s perfect to waste time in my night.

It’s almost 3AM. I look silently towards the door. He he, NO - today she won’t step in at 3 in order to come and shout: ´You, owl! Owl! Go to bed! ´
At that moment it also comes to my mind that she won’t never ever complain about my eating- or dressing habits, either!
It’s good to know that you have a caring mom - but she has realized, that you are a grown-up now, who CAN live without much sleep, meat, and warmer cap.

Then, out of the blue I notice, that during previous thoughts I’ve managed to paint a picture. This one is REAL, a really good work, not like the ones from past efforts!
I drink Coffee, as much as I want, and no one tells me that if a person has about 10 tiny cups a day, the brains are going to act so that one day you will be found like an idiot.... I pour myself another cup of Coffee.

And you know what - I must have been falling to sleep at some point, because I see myself opening the eyes again - I feel fresh, my hair look fine, I’m all so fired up and that’s when I decide to write this thing - IMAGINATION.

Imagination - The ability to confront and deal with reality by using the creative power of the mind; resourcefulness: handled the problems with great imagination.

An imagination is something that twists the tongue. The thing that takes you beyond life itself brings a fascination of the world to the mind. Makes the unreal become a vision of the future itself, takes one person and makes them fly through the sky of their very mind.
Twisting and turning around corners of the mind, to create that of dreams itself. Take one world, the world where magic clashes with the lands, taking a soul and winding it around others hearts; making everything beyond the truth itself, and turn it into the unforeseen, the thing you want to see. The mind is always flowing with the thoughts, even in the end of time...

Imagination is something really personal to each and every person. However, there are those, which people share with you, and you can share with them.
It is about time that the description is changed as the world of imagination has become the world of constant and that is not what imagination is...

Remember the time when anything would stimulate our imagination into intense imaginative 'Humbug'!! AND I say Humbug because this word has played with my imagination TOO LONG
Revisit the time when everything was open for imagination; the dark night, the painting of a horse in the living room, Grandfather’s walking Stick... Rivers... Sea... Fire...
Let’s see if we have not LOST it... I am trying to IMAGINE.

Imagination comes out of aspiration... and one could try and feel what it would feel like if he had done some particular thing. There’s nothing wrong in imagining, because there is actually no correlation between imagination and reality. Reality is completely dependent on the zeal of a person to achieve what he aspires, where as imagination is just the time that he spends to derive joy...
Well, that is one part of it
For example, imagination in the other sense could be what artists do; they imagine something by themselves and try to transform it on canvas.
Had their imagination not been strong enough, they would not have turned their canvas to a wonderful painting
So it’s always good to know what you can do and imagining things can only encourage you to do that.

What you say can be accepted to an extent but, nothing works without imagination; the human mind is made that way and it’s innate in us to imagine something as and when we think about it
Imagination is always stronger than reality; reality is shadowed by real living factors and imagination is all in your control

One cannot live in imagination but till the time you are there it is a living heaven for all

I wish we all had the means to live in imagination and all my efforts in life are directed towards converting my IMAGINATION to REALITY and controlling the distance between them..........


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Silence - Another aspect of ME

Last night was one of those times I often ramble and write. But I didn’t feel like writing, I didn’t know what to say. Sometimes I don’t know what to think let alone why I’m thinking it. There is something about that time of night when everyone else is asleep, you’ve gotten home in one piece and had dinner, and the day seems like an age ago. It clears my mind to think beyond the last 24 hours and the next 24 to come.

Lately I’ve been really unsettled and not quite sure why. Ideally (because we all imagine what our ideal selves would do) I would sit myself down and have a heart to heart about what I’m scared of, too scared of to even say, and what I should do to fix it, hide it, or forget about it. But I haven’t done that, I’m not sure why. Possibly, because it’s one of those things so ingrained in me that it’s easier to not think about it and pretend it will go away.

So last night, I felt lonely, in my own way. Being needy is something I hate and I’m scared of. It makes me agitated. It’s like I’m looking and waiting for something and not really knowing what, but deep down inside, I know what it is, I’m just too scared to say it. As I sat there and talked to a friend on the other side of the world, I found myself asking him for answers to my questions. Using him, in my own way, as a sounding board, a chance to write what I am thinking at the moment.

I pour my soul out to the internet. I sit here and tell people things I’ve never told my friends. I’ve made friends so close, talked for 10 hours straight, heard intimate secrets. At that moment, I feel closer to that person than anyone else. It is funny how thoughts form in your head, but sound so different when they manage to escape.

When I was younger, friends were the type to come and go, and though you may grow close, the relationships ebb and flow, sometimes, I don’t really know them and sometimes they don’t know me.

With these people in our lives, for a moment, we can completely understand each other. But I harbor the knowledge that tomorrow, we will change, move on, be different and that closeness will be lost. Is it possible to find someone as committed to changing with me as I am to them? I don’t really know, but I suppose I’ll keep my eye out.

I had all these things to say, but no words to say them. Last night, words left me and I fluttered through ideas and words with seemingly no meaning. In fact, having enjoyed many discussions among friends, people who have read what I write always say I write better than I talk. Maybe my brain is just slow and I need to collect my words in order to sound witty. Or maybe it’s because when I sit there in front of someone in real time, a million thoughts go through my mind, censoring, altering, predicting. Here, I say everything I need to, erase anything I don’t, and serve it up as a single course.

I’m going to think about what needs to be thought, for the benefit of my sanity. Maybe I will let you know when I sort it out. But that’s exactly what I’m stuck on. Why do I feel like I need to sort things out alone?


Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Lost thought.

There are so many thoughts on my mind..

So many things I wish to find..

But I'm so lost for words tonight..

I just can't seem to think of what is wrong and what is right..

Everything is so confusing.. So messed up..

But maybe it just isn’t enough for me to be fed up..

The right seems wrong.. And the wrong seems so full of delight..

Its this unstoppable feeling I can't really fight..

Or maybe I just don't want to..

'Cuz as weird as it sounds.. I like what I'm going through..

It's like all my thoughts are covered in ice cold frost..

But it has to melt..And I have to feel the way I once felt..

Snapping back to reality..Back to the world full of lies and cruelty..

My heart sinks into the endless pit of pain and agony