Thursday, August 23, 2007


Being a Capricorn, I’ve never had much fun with decisions. Astrologically-inclined friends and family have never been amiss to point this out to me. But as I’ve matured, I’ve found big, life-crunching decisions usually unravel themselves before me more easily than simple, stupid ones, such as choosing cheese or butter on that Pav Bhaji.

Now, I’m faced with multiple decisions based upon the self-assembling blueprint of my life, which has always seemed tumultuous but now seems torn anew between different places and different energy forces.

I came to Bangalore to reclaim myself, not to find myself, as many have done. I was found before and simply got off track, and I needed a place away from loved ones, in a place where the sun sets instead of rising over the ocean, to prevent myself from further derailment. And I have made excellent headway in doing so. For the first time in a very long period of self-absence I finally feel like myself again. I’m truly happy here among friends new and old, mountains and hills, rain and sunshine. Why, then, do I even consider leaving such happiness?

For most of those who come here to find themselves, Bangalore is a transitory place, fleeting at best, a place where memories are deposited and retrieved as quickly as raw materials en route to Chinese assembly lines. I do not feel this way. Every other place I have known was transitory: Delhi, which changes with every political ebb and flow; Pune, which eager souls can endure for only a year or two before burnout. Instead, I came here because I felt it was like home, and everything I have experienced thus far has seemed to justify that. Despite opportunities arising in other locales I sometimes never considered this move to be temporary, just sort of a mental repositioning. Now, with my departure imminent to face those other opportunities, I worry that I am leaving exactly the sort of thing I came to find to return to exactly the sort of thing I meant to get away from. I never doubt that I can find opportunities wherever I may be, and while I’m not one to burn bridges, it seems fitting that this is one of the two places where I may belong right now.

There are many decisions to make in the next few days, but one thing bears mentioning: everyone here who is not from here has a story, a story for how they ended up here. When leaving felt so certain, I thought my eventual return would not be a story worthy of bearing repetition. Now I feel like I finally have my story.

On another point, someone shared a terrific insight with me today - lots of insights, actually - but one specifically relates to an earlier post of mine: why are the very young and very old the easiest and most interesting sort of people to talk to? The answers lay within their respective souls and alignment with the cycle of life; the very young are closest to birth, the very old closest to death. Thus, they have both the most insightful and innocent of all of life’s observations.


Monday, August 13, 2007

FREEDOM...Does it Exist?????

I saw this particular article on a website of a leading daily which talks about people giving their own views about freedom. I know anyways my article is never going to be featured there. So let me put it right here on my own blog.

To start with, “What is freedom?”. Isn’t that a strange question??? You may be wondering what is wrong with me and why I have become so patriotic. Even I don’t know why, but every year this time round I end up writing something like this.

To tell you the truth I really don’t know what freedom is. To realize what freedom is, you must first be in a position to not have it. But thankfully we have been blessed with freedom. We were born in a free country. Our parents gave us total freedom to do whatever we wished.

I took up a profession of my choice. Unlike some of my compatriots who took a particular profession because they had no other choice or their parents forced them, I have been actually blessed.
Now since I have very little idea to what freedom really is I don’t really feel all that confident about blabbing about it, although this blog is meant for that purpose only :). But I feel that independence is about doing what you wish to without hurting or pushing others in the course of your life. Probably in the pre 1947 era our ancestors struggled because there was a barrier for Indians to do everything.

Indians were not allowed in certain coaches or clubs or schools. There was this British club which used to write, "Indians and Dogs not Allowed". Guess where racism has its roots.
To say that we were not racist is technically not correct. We had the so called caste based system in place of the race based system. That’s the same wine in a different bottle.

After 60 years of political abolishment of all these practices, it’s sad to see that people are more inclined towards being called of a certain caste than not. Caste culture has been fueled further by our government. Probably the same government which at one point in history wanted all Indians to move together is classifying people. The Gurjar violence is an offshoot of this seed of caste based reservation.

The closest I have come to not having freedom has been but for Reservation. Well, when I was in Engineering College and I paid close to 50k as fees because I could not get a rank good enough for free seat in an A grade college. But then I saw that I had a classmate who paid less than 10k. I used to reach college by bus while that fellow used to ride his car to college. He was definitely no more brilliant than me nor did he have a rank better than mine. So what did he have… would know that.
So am I really blessed with freedom or is it an illusion strong enough to make me believe that I am independent.

Maybe when we ban the caste system or maybe when the government stops using it as election material.
Till then, Freedom is for sure not full. Incompetent people holding important posts based on caste and creed will only lead to complex web of corruption.
There may come a day when all this gets eliminated, till then lets do our bit to remove it which has been ingrained in our system.

Jai Hind.


Thursday, August 02, 2007



A soothing cool breeze...
bright but pleasant crescent moon light...
riding on this marvelous flying carpet...
to a far far away palace,
over the glittering waters of the winding river ..
mesmerizing fragrance of exotic flowers..

Sitting comfortably next to world's lovely princess..
holding hands, saying those sweet nothings..
smiling and giggling together...
eating and singing merrily..
joking and teasing...
dreaming and imagining coming future!

Your head on her lap...
her fingers running though your hair..
you play with her fingers and her long beautiful hair..

ooooh! and just drifting off to sleep .. looking at her smiling face...

And waking up early in morning..
finding her asleep next to you..
(she looks even more lovely now!)

you keep on enjoying the beauty..
still on the carpet.. reaching the palace at noon,
you continue to play with her hair..

The sun slowly rises from your behind...
you find her even more sweet and adorable..
with a child like innocent smile she wakes up rubbing her eyes slowly..
and with a twinkle in her eyes
she is so happy to wake up next to you..

And that’s it you get the best gift in the world... a heavenly smile and a very affectionate hug!

She asks you to lie back with your hand streched... and uses it as her pillow...
nose to nose.. she is looking directly in your eyes.... and the time literally slows down!!
you can feel your and her heart beating faster than ever yet the breath slowing down its pace...
you both breathe together ...
and feel your and her breath are one...

Still you can see the oceans in her deep eyes.. and its all the more fantastic becuase of her smile...

The once high speed beating heart slows down too... and time just freezes!
there is this ecstasy that takes over and...
you can feel her deep breaths on your face, on your lips...

Heaven is that feeling and so would be that passionate kiss..

You close your eyes...
As you wonder how you would feel the touch of her lips on yours...

Rain starts to fall in like a storm!
There is a huge noise... You expect that it’s thunder!


Its worse!

well ..
you open your eyes in regret!
and of course!
you find yourself totally drenched & wet!

You wish to you "good bye" she had said
but you find yourself
with someone with empty bucket,
Totally in mess,
in your own totally wet bed!

"WAKE UP!" is what u hear,
echo in your ears!
Of course you are wide awake!



Well I leave my imagination here..
and you may continue if you want...
or very well give it a break!